More Reading And No Writing

It's been quite sometime since I made a post to my blog. My drive towards this post is to fulfill a requirement for one of the job recruiters for a writing sample. It is then I realize how little I wrote. As years passed, I found myself writing less and reading more. The more I fell in love with other writing styles, the more I became critical of my own writing. I try to find a common ground or an inspiration on a class that I could regularly write on but I find more interesting articles that I start reading and never have the drive to write.

As a young kid, I was gifted with journals, more of unused year diaries, by my dad who saw me writing for hours without inhibitions. It varied anything from Dear Diary entries to obituary writing for dead pets. I remember writing the vague sequel for Jurassic Park after I came back from the movie. It involved the grandchildren of the actors trying to save the park and an inevitable love story between them. When the sequel actually came out, I felt that mine was way better. It is always the way that your story seems the best when you are a kid.

I wonder how many kids even sit and write with pen and paper. I wonder whether the future generation would even have a handwriting competition. It would be more of 'Words-Per-Minute' on a keyboard competitions. I find several of my classmates complaining if the professor insists on a handwritten turn in of the homework. I personally find solving long algebraic and differential equations, pages long of theorems and equations in physics interesting with the page containing scratches and blotches of ink. It gives a geek finish than a boring print out with perfect alignment and font size. My professor mentioned that he bought a typewriter from a yard sale so that he could show what it looks like to his son. Soon kids would be taken to the museum to see paper, fountain pens and ink. It would be of no surprise if classes are conducted in future for hand writing.

There were several attempts by me to start writing on a hard journal than this blog. Vain. I have lost my handwriting which long back bought stars drawn on my face by my primary school teacher. The gleam on my face when I first bought a fountain pen is still considered an event by my mother. She would explain how I would check out pens in every stationary store I went into, write multiple versions of my name on the sample paper and would complain about the nib or color.

This blog spoilt me and twitter made me lazy. To me, Twitter is more of a window for great articles one could find to be posted. I post interesting articles, engadget videos, comic strips and interesting entries in blogs that I come across. I love reading long articles that is not delimited to 120 characters. This is my source : http://givemesomethingtoread.com/

I have been reading a lot these days, anything I get hold onto. College magazines, reddit, engadget, blogs by freelance writers, articles posted on twitter, mashable, etc via the Google Reader. A pool of resources and I cannot get enough of it. Recent novel reading has been 'Sea of Poppies' by Amitav Ghosh. An interesting book about the poppy trade in India in the early 1800's. A must read.

I wish I could write more and derive an inspiration within myself. A cheer for the writers.

My Thing

I never knew I could be so attached to a THING. I've heard about people who have good luck charms like a pen that they have with them forever even though it does not serve it's purpose anymore, a key chain, etc. I just discovered mine recently. I would not exactly call it is as a good luck charm but it is something that I miss dearly when I don't have it with me and disturbs me greatly thinking that something evil is going to happen if I don't have it.

It is the first piece of gold that I 'ASKED' for from my dad. I don't actually remember whether I asked for it or as usual, I told my mom and she mentioned it to dad. It was late evening during the monsoons in India. I clearly remember that my grandma(dad's mother)had come to stay with us for a few days. When my dad came to know that I wanted one, he gave my mom the money and asked her to get it for me immediately. It was around 8 pm. So, myself, mom and grandma go to Mehta Jewellers in R.S.Puram and after a lot of skimming and no's, I got my first gold chain. A small and thin one, just like what I wanted and my dad didn't. He is usually the heavy-chunky-jewelery types and I'm the small-yet-cute-and-pretty types. I came back home and showed it to dad and he goes(again as usual): "It's nice but you could've got a thicker and longer one".

It is a tradition in me that when I go shopping and buy something, I show it to my dad and ask for his opinion. He never says it is bad or he doesn't like it. (Something to be followed.) When I buy a salwar, he says "Next time go in for a BRIGHT color". When I buy something in cotton, which I love, he says "You could've bought in silk. It is much more grand" and I totally respect his opinions. When, we go out as a family even for dinner to a restaurant, he wants me to be very neatly dressed. He is always on the look out for me. After all, daughters are always the favorites for fathers. :)

So, that's the story of my gold chain. It has broken a couple of times, twisted and looks ragged like the Indian roads after monsoons but I love it. Even when I came to the US, my mom suggested that I sell this one and buy a new one. I gave her a satisfactory no and told her that according to my memory this is the first piece of jewelery that I ever asked my dad and it would remain with me forever.

My Dementor

I just realized that just by somebody's presence and looking at them can make me so angry and pissed off. Yes, it is 10:20 am and it is my roomie, Rachel. She walks in with a scorn on her face as though she just got beaten up by a bunch of girls and her being angry. How can somebody have that look on the face when they wake up? It is not what I want to see in the morning. Grrr.. It's bloody so pissing off and here I'm venting my anger. She is so cold that even the sun can lose a degree of temperature. She's like the dementor characters from the Harry Porter series.

This is what Remus Lupin tells Harry Potter about Dementors :

"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."

She not only just sucks out the happiness in me but also gets me pissed off. Oh yeah, Dementor sounds nice for her. Maybe I should rename her in my phone book as 'My Dementor'. LoL. :D She's my first Dementor and I guess I'll never forget her.

I wonder who or what my Patronus is !!??

My Roomies

It's been eight months since I've been living with Mandie, Rachel and Channah(names changed, but quite obvious if people know who I stay with). Anyway, the point is I don't like staying with two of them already. Initially, when I was looking for roomies to stay with, the first one I decided was Channah. We just chatted a couple of times online and we thought we could stay together. The other two were from the same place and hence we were two-two and decided we stay together. My first thought went wrong. I thought I will get along well with Mandie and very badly with Channah. It ended the other way around. Channah is the least at home because she spends a lot of time and literally stays at her boyfriend's place. Mandie and Rachel get along well because of their common friends. They are into so much gossip especially Rachel. But, Rachel is so much better than Mandie, at least she is not lazy. Mandie is such a couch potato, doesn't do a work extra. Channah is older to me by 3 years, acts kiddish sometimes but sometimes she makes so much sense and shows maturity in her talk. We get along well. She listens to me and takes interest in what I say to her.

Rachel is such a hypocrite. She bitches about how loud Channah is when her boyfriend comes home, but bloody hell, how loud her friends are and that too screaming in the middle of the night and laughing like hyenas. Grrr. Sometimes, I wake up because of their noise. And don't ever get me started on their new friend, Chevonne. Man, that female is so dumb. She has nothing to talk about than other females in college, comment on FB pics and talk about clothes and how sexy everything is. A typical dumb-blondie !!! Somehow, I just can't stand stupid girls. I think they should just shut up if they don't want people to lose opinion on them.

Mandie is way too rude sometimes and sooo lazy. Her clothes lie all over the place. Her socks are found even in the dining room. She doesn't clean anything except for one day when she'll get an enlightenment and clean her wardrobe and everything. I'm surprised how Rachel and Mandie get along with Chevonne.

I really wish I don't have to stay with these people anymore. I don't mind staying with Channah though. I'm honestly happy that Rachel will be leaving to India after this summer. In that case, I think Mandie will be much better.

From cooking for everybody else, we've gone to cooking for ourselves. Initially, I hated the idea but now,much satisfied. I get to eat what I like and much better food.

For all I wish it goes along well without any problems big time. Writing this post just made me vent my anger. Positive !

For now ..... Shanthi !

A Record

It has been quite sometime since my last post. This post is for myself to remember certain things. Recently, I've been hearing a lot of things, especially with the number of weddings that is happening this year and also the number of nieces and nephews expected this year. OMG !!!

The first expected was Manasa's baby. As I had predicted, it was a girl and they have named her Zara. Cutie pie. Next, within a week I hear that one of my sister-in-laws(Yamini'ka) is delivering a baby in weeks and another sister(Vinitha) who is pregnant. Another sister from Long Island(Sujini'ka) is pregnant with her second son. That makes 3 babies just for the first half of the year. :O

Then, one of my favorite cousins, Saranya'ka is getting married. I would be missing the wedding so much though. :( I love going to wedding so much. Getting all dressed up(initially hating it), meeting hundreds of people, pictures, FOOD,etc. I miss all those things so much. This has been a 'so much' paragraph ! LoL :D

Talking about weddings, my brother(sibling Shriram) is himself in the process of getting an arranged marriage done. Parents are frantically looking out for a bride for him. There is a proposal that is on a good track, hope it works out. Everybody wants it to work out.For my record, her name encoded:BOVTIB (Clue:ACP) :P

The online chat with Divakar Chithappa on this was hilarious. He is so funny! :P I still remember him telling about Priya'ka standing for the Velacheri ward councillor and her being named 'Pallikaranai Padma' and Chithappa going around Velacheri in white Scorpio, white veshti, white chappals, gold watch and a mini troop of his own side kicks. Can only imagine the scene. LoL. He says "We should be in politics. Education spoils us". LoL. Priya'ka and Chithappa are made for each other with a perfect daughter. A happy go lucky family, very straight forward unlike the other families in the circle. This generation aunt and uncle are they. He is all excited about BOVTIB's profile and wants it to work out as much as others want it to happen.

Meanwhile, before I forget, there is another wedding in the family. Vig'na's. Sometime in Jan 2011. My vadina's name is Ramya and she's from Australia. Love marriage. So happy for him. :) It is best for people like him, Pranesh and Anitha to get their own life partners. They are the worst candidates for an arranged marriage. :P

I'm myself looking forward for an arranged marriage very much. There are a lot of pros and cons involved but somehow prefer it. It would make my parents so happy and that is what I want. That's the least I can do for them. This sounds a bit old fashioned but I know they are going to look for a perfect guy for me.

A number of weddings from my college too. First is Cynthia's and Swathikha's, unexpected events. Story behind both of them drove me crazy. Next is the rapidly developing story of Shwetha's. Don't know what is going to happen.

ATB for all the expecting mothers,newly weds and engaged ones and for the one struggling hard to get her love worked out !

Peace!

-Shri

My Seven Hour Boring Flight

I have been wanting to post this since Thanksgiving '09 when I got so damn bored in the flight and started writing. So, here it goes...

I'm extremely bored, tired of sitting in a place for 3 hours and more pissed off thinking that I have nothing to do for another four hours. Yes, I'm in a flight to San Francisco from Philadelphia.

It is my thanksgiving/quarter break and my ultimately patient, sweet and lazy brother sends me tickets to come to his place. I'm all excited to meet him but this journey is way too much. The two seats next to me is empty and further two seats away, there are two people who are equally as bored as me and staring into their Macs. I was staring out the tiny window next to my seat and all I could see is white. An occasional pop up of lights indicating a small, sweet/ghostly town where people are tucked into their cozy little homes and watching tv or just equally as bored as me.

I passed an hour by sleeping, another 45 minutes staring outside. This was the first time that I saw 3 flights passing by mine in a span of 15 minutes. Then, I'm bored again. This is when it strikes that I used to write a blog. It has been almost a year since I last wrote in my blog.

So, what has happened in a year. I graduate as a Bachelor of Engineering and now I'm in the US pursuing my masters in Computer Science. That is a huge step, isn't it ??? A lot of things happened in a year. For now, my first quarter in the university has ended and here I'm in the flight.

So, I was thinking about what to write and the thought of writing how different it is in the US struck me. It has been lingering in my mind for quite sometime. Although, I have been to America earlier, it was not the same this time. It is........................say different !

What is ?

Let me start with my regular day. It starts with my breakfast.

In USA :

1. 
   
   The day starts with a bowl of cereals and orange juice.
2. 
   
   The bus is on time and it always stops. Lol. One might find this funny but people from India, you know what I'm talking about.
3. 
   
   No running and catching the bus.
4. 
   
   Buses have doors, A/Cs, heaters, cameras and a string to pull for stop. Oh yeah, this is common. In India, this is there too. A flimsy string attached to an ancient, rusted bell to the left of the driver which is totally useless with the amount of noise made in the bus. Here, it is hi-tech. You pull the string and there is an LED lit screen that says “STOP REQUESTED”.
5. 
   
   Everybody thanks the driver when they board off the bus. Usually, it is “Thank you, have a nice day !”
6. 
   
   Working in the cafeteria is no big deal. It is just another job though it has only the minimum wages.
7. 
   
   Classes never get canceled even if there is a snowstorm or thunderstorm or rainstorm. :P
8. 
   
   You see somebody on the road while walking, they usually greet or smile at you.
9. 
   
   There is no attendance in class.
10. 
    
    You can eat, sleep, open your laptop, listen to music with your headphones on, walk out of class anytime and maybe even snore in class.
11. 
    
    Students are tested over time. Assignments, home works, midterms carry marks to your final grade. Plagiarism is a crime and punishable by death. Well, not death, something as equal as death. You might as well wish that you were dead.
12. 
    
    Midterms: carry around 15% marks of the final grade.
13. 
    
    You walk into a restaurant, you thank the person who serves you. “Can I have that please”, “Thank you ! “
14. 
    
    While standing in the queue, you stay at least 2 feet away from the person on front of you.

In India :

1. 
   
   Dosas, idlis, pooris, upma and paniyarams with a variety of chutneys and sambhar is a regular breakfast.
2. 
   
   The bus is never on time, mostly overcrowded with people dangling one of their foot just a few inches above the road. The bus is slouched to one side with the weight. Forget the A/C and heater. There are hardly any windows and the ones there are are stuck. There is a downpour and you are drenched.
3. 
   
   People's talk when they are in the bus : “Porambokku, yeppidi ottaran paaru”. There is a sudden break and everybody falls on the engine.
4. 
   
   Working in a cafe ? But why ?
5. 
   
   Classes get canceled if the professor isn't prepared or on extreme student pestering.
6. 
   
   If somebody smiles at you, “Do I know him/her? Why is he smiling at me? FLIRT !”
7. 
   
   75% attendance required to pass the semester.
8. 
   
   Doing any of those mentioned in (10) above in college , would result in an “ENQUIRY” and “DISCIPLINARY ACTION”.
9. 
   
   Student : “Assignment'a ? When was it informed? Anyway, have you completed? Give me. I'll finish it during class.” Putting it in tamil sounds more funny. So, here it is. “Assignment'a? Yeppo sonnanga ? Avanukku vera valaiyae illa, torture ! Seri seri, nee mudichiya ? Kududa, naan DSP class'la ukkandhu yeludhuraen. Yeppidi irundhalum andha aalu/bonda vaayan/pal azhagan nadatharadhu onnum puriyadhu”
10. 
    
    Internals : 50 marks, 25 to pass. Learn for 25, aim for 20, get 23, passed by grace marks and repeated “ Pls sir/ma'am” and you get 20/20 on the internals. The 25 marks obtained by knowing the questions from the professors.
11. 
    
    “Oru vadai sambhar, oru rava dosa”. End of conversation with the server.
12. 
    
    Never even ask, just push right away or even the occasional “Konjam thallareengala” will be followed by “innum idam irukku, innum konjam thallungo please”.

What do I miss here ? Loads....

1. 
   
   Ma's food. Dosas. It has been 3 months since I had a dosa.
2. 
   
   You are sick and there is Ma to take care of you. I remember, when I was sick, I started crying. Had to make something on my own for food.
3. 
   
   Running and catching the bus and getting into it though knowing I might suffocate and black out.
4. 
   
   Driving. It has been months since I drove a car.
5. 
   
   Bus rides.
6. 
   
   SMS'ing.
7. 
   
   Talking in tanglish.
8. 
   
   The idea of being independent. Never care about how do I go to a place.
9. 
   
   Talking in tamil and dappanguthu dance. Man, how much I miss college and all those comments passed during class.
10. 
    
    The number of public holidays.
11. 
    
    The frequent visits to aunts and uncles houses, calling Vishnu and Sukesh and Gunda, laughing out loud with my aunt, birthday cakes, wedding anniversary dinners, never have to bother about food.
12. 
    
    Hanuman temple and Sneha complaining about the small size of the prashadham cup.
13. 
    
    Agarwals chaat and ladoo and badam milk.
14. 
    
    Weddings and Sunday lunches.
15. 
    
    My scooter.
16. 
    
    My room and Mr. Smith, Chipper and Penguin.
17. 
    
    The shrills from Ma when she sees my nasty room, overflowing with clothes and wires.

…......... the count goes on.......

Nothing beats home ! Love you Ma and miss you loads !!! Muah..

For now, I'm all happy about meeting my brother and asking him to take me Saravana Bhavan. I can imagine the wide smile on my face when I see that rava dosa and the tri-colored chutneys and the cup of sambhar.

I have passed and hour on this and I'm glad. My battery is draining and off I go....

Will be writing about my thanksgiving vacation....

Luv !

My Thoughts

My thoughts have been wavering, staying still like a rock, flowing like water and taking up a lot of bizarre and abstract shapes and I thought I should clear my head.. and here it goes :

There's been a heavy progress in Yazh's love life(don't know whether it's for better or for worse). A lot of family have been involved in the whole thing. Seems like everybody knows about it and been wanting to know how she feels. Thanks to her Vinu that he's a close family of her's. She narrates to us what happens everyday and it feels like a drama with a lot of comedy and romance. And this drama also has a London dude as a villian. A perfect masala drama. Wish it doesn't have a tragedy ! 

I've started reading "Midnight's Children" by Salman Rushdie and have been carrying it around with me everywhere. I've fallen in love with owning books, with the most obvious reason that I can own it forever and the other reason being that I read it with all my heart. Pa tried his best telling that all the books were available in the library and he can borrow it for me anytime. All in vain ! I set my heart on it, then my money within a few minutes. And how Pa finds out ? He ransacks my room ??  naaaa.. I show it to him with my face beaming with pride as though I just got elected as the President. The only thing that I hate myself is the amount of time I spend in finishing a book. Man !! I'm just embarrassed. I'm sure you'll find a blog three months from now mentioning the date I finish "Midnight's Children".

Ma is pretty upset with my stubborn ass brother and his theory on "how he is still not ready" for a marriage. Everybody wants to him to get married. Somehow, I'm stuck in the middle of thoughts. I have my views on both. On Ma's defense, I have to agree that finding a girl is not an easy job, particularly as for an arranged marriage and it takes a really long time since the process involves  a lot of criteria and a hell a lot of people. On Shriram's defense, how the hell will he want to get married when he doesn't want to ?? Seems like my bro's argument weighs more. But, considering Ma, already being an insomniac, I think her blood pressure is getting directly proportional to the number of people inquiring about my brother at social gatherings rise indefinitely.

Sne's been away to the college hostel for almost twenty says for dance practice and I realise how much I miss her. She's been a dayski(college slang for day scholars) only since a year now but it's made a difference. Her simple everyday morning's "hi di" at the bus stop and "please di" is what I miss the most. She is the reason I've been visiting the temple regularly and there's this hole now. I'm down, I call her, go to the temple, eat out, go for walk, and that's it. I come back home with high spirits. Miss you Sne !!!

Shriram has started writing his own blog. I read it and this is what I think of it : BORING. It has too much philosophy. But, it's different. I just read in it that my brother uses Darwin's theory to explain his expanding waistline :P you can reach his blog at www.trickleofthoughts.blogspot.com. It's one of a kind.

I've been very guilty about the fact that I didn't wish my friend on her birthday  Why ??? Didn't have balance to make a call ? Forgot her birthday ? Excuse that it was too late to call ? Nope, none of  these at all. The reason being : Didn't feel like it. My friends do not agree with me that I need a mood to talk over the phone else I'm cranky or worse with only 'ahmms','ahuhs', 'ohs' and 'okays' or a combination of all these used inappropriately. I just don't pick up the call when I don't feel like it. I just let it ring and ring and ring. Weird or stupid ? Does this show what kind of character I'm ?

I watched like 5 movies in 1.5 days and the list is : American History X, The Notebook, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Godfather and 11:14. And the ones that comes under my favorites are Benjamin Button and The Godfather. Brad's just brilliant in the movie and the costumes and makeup have been put at the right age streams. 

My daily routine has changed since a few months now. My body alarm goes on anytime between 5:30 and 5:45 a.m EVERYDAY and I feel sad for myself. I love sleeping late into the morning and I miss it so much. And what I do waking up so early ? Switch on my pc, go through my mails, Orkut, Facebook, a few downloads, a few uploads, , , . With me eagerly waiting for my admits from the universities I've applied to, it's such a start in the morning hoping to see a new mail from any university saying "CONGRATULATIONS !!!" and gmail is just so nice, I wait for the progress bar to turn completely blue. It's like in a movie where the hero transfers some content from a computer system that contains national security data just within the few minutes the person in-charge goes to pee. The screen divided into four, one showing the back of the in-charge peeing, one focussing on the data transfer, one showing the look on the hero's face and the fourth showing  the person giving instructions to the hero. More or less like MI. The difference is that I'm no hero and this isn't the movies. 

It's amazing how soon my undergrad life is drawing to an end. Though the senior year just seems to be the same, it's the events that remind that it's soon to be over. People passing on slam books and diaries to pen down memories, some dumass sending a stupid sms briefing on the college years and how the happy days are closing in, people talking with people they've never spoken before with the reason that they are going to be together for a just a few more years, a few people talking about reunions and alumni meets and ofcourse Sne's cribbing. Sne wails over the fact that we are going to leave college and she has to stick around for another year. And I just get agitated over all this because it keeps reminding me that things aren't going to be the same again. Never !

On a lighter note, I'm happy that I've learnt to come to terms with all this. Happy that Ma tells me to talk to my brother, it's the responsibility that reminds me and how she thinks that I'll be able to put forth the opinions to my brother better than herself. 

And to J Shah, if you are reading this, I already warned you and HI.

A Small Post After A Huge Break

I just can't believe that I've been so lazy to keep my blog upto date. Everytime I think of starting a post, I think of the number of memories that I have to write down and it haunts me like the one in cartoons where Tom writes pages after pages in his dream and gets dark circles. lol. But, I now know that just by avoiding it isn't going to make any difference. So, here I'm to write whatever I remember. 

Let's see the turn of events in my life. First, I jump from a career after MBA to an MS degree. So, i dump a whole year's weekend classes of work. :( I  missed so many saturdays of hanging around with my friends. sniff sniff... I never worked for my CAT either. So, I'm not all that disappointed. This idea of MS has been lingering on my mind since the day I returned from my trip to USA. So, I work for the GRE. I really worked hard for it, I know it. I read in the bus, back and forth, evenings, early mornings. I was called a GRE maniac in class. I would have the vocabulary part of the book opened in Digital Signal Processing(DSP) class. I took off many days from college to learn and practice. GRE came and went. Don't want to specify my marks here though.

Then came my semester exams. A nightmare. The sleepless 15 days. With DSP, often referred as the Degree Stopping Paper, it was sure a haunted exam by all Computer Science Engineers under AU. My last exam gets postponed due to the heavy rains along the coastal Tamil Nadu and the Nisha hurricane. I get like almost a month for my last exam. I gave my TOEFL by then and started on my University selections and application work.

I spent like 10-12 hours in front of the pc everyday during this period of application. I would get freaked in the middle of the night, like as if I won't meet the deadline of the university when the deadline would actually be like 4-5 months away. This was the period I got the acquaintance of my cousin, Karthick who I, in fact everybody call him as Karthi. A really nice guy, he helped me out so much with my applications, documents required and stuff. He once did so much work that it saved me 6-8 hours. I'd go to his house, he'd check whether I got all the required documents and then only I would go send it. Both of us have applied to some common universities. I've applied to NCSU, UFL, UTDallas, Syracuse, UTArlington, RIT and SJSU, of which the first four are common to both of us. Apart from him, Uthaman and Pranesh, the seniors from college, were the ones who helped me out with the university selections. 

Then came the new year. I spent the new year's night at Jayni's house with Hiral, a friend of ours from high school who had come down from Pune. We had a small celebration for ourselves and spoke a lot. I still remember how Hiral would doze off in the middle. Myself and Jayni woke her up twice, once by splashing water and once by screaming into her ears. lol.. that was fun. Shivangi(Shivu) and Shwetha(Bhathija) were in town too. They went to Bikes, the one place I'm not comfortable in. 

The final semester in college is horrible with the project. So much tension for the weekly reviews, students in chaos on last minute presentation preparations, changes in code, installation of software, etc.,. But, my HOD is the coolest. She knows student psychology and the one person who is hilarious when she thinks she's blasting the students. lol.  :)

I don't know whether I've mentioned it before, but yeah, I got recruited by TCS(Tata Consultancy services), one of the bioggest software giants in India. :)

That's it for now I guess. I would sure post more..

My Comfortable Chair

Records, labs, exams,,,,.. These are the factors that has kept me off my blog since a month. Not only was I uploading any new posts, I was cut off from the rest of the global village. Felt like a retard these days. Just updated all the latest buzz in the world. Inflation in India, Presidential elections in America, the IPL matches, movies, entertainment and all the gossip.

My placement training has started in college with aptitude tests. I'm performing quite well. Gosh, the verbal, every word looks familiar !! Preparing my resume was a herculean task. Tried to present it as impressive as possible. Gues, it is. The first major company coming for recruitment is TCS. The seniors have scared the s*** out of us. I'm trying to maintain my cool. Prepare for the apti sincerely, know what you are talking, maintain eye contact while speaking, practice on your inter-personal skills, dress neatly, prepare an impressive resume, read all the basics of all the subjects learnt so far, blah blah blah !

All the way back home, there was a war between the two phrases: 'Nandhini, you are in deep trouble missy !' and the other 'C'mon, work your a** off, let's see what happens. We'll face it'. Finally, it was check mate for the former. Nobody can encourage you unless you've got the spark within yourself. Confidence is what I need and I'm sure I got enough. If not this, it's the next. I would fight like Jack Sparrow by maintaining my cool and facing the endless voices pouncing upon each other. Yes, i would !!!

I've been updating upon the various IPL matches. They've been very interesting. I'm the ultimate supporter of 'Chennai Super Kings'. A brilliant team with Dhoni, Hayden, Muralidharan, and Hussey. I was waiting for Balaji to come into action. He did, brilliant overs .. and he's smart looking. King Khan's 'Kolkatta Knight Riders' and 'Delhi Daredevils' are in form too. My recently married friend Manasa is going for the KKR vs Mumbai Indians match in Mumbai. Lucky her.

Mr. Chidambaram is trying his best to keep the inflation rates in check, but they've been soaring and is in a all time high of 7.61%. He has made a public announcement that the government is holding talks with the cement manufacturing industries to roll up their prices. Hope it works. The middle class have been greatly hit. I would wonder how would a 10 buck rise going to affect the people. But with knowledge from text book economics, I gathered knowledge about the outcomes of rising inflation. So, people who are earning and going to earn, this is one thing I want to mention(actually phrased by somebody, but so true) "Start investing the day you start earning". Stocks and shares, Mutual funds, insurances, property, gold,,, or whatever that would give you good returns as time goes.

I really feel nice mentioning about all this in my blog. There maybe several places where people can learn anout inflation and investments, but I've just made my smallest contribution and nothing feels as good as gaining knowledge.

So, here I'm just slouching in my chair, doing what exactly I want to do on a rainy day, with a chill breeze brushing against my face, listening to A.R.Rahman's sufi song composition transferring me to a state of trance. Ah, it's just bliss !!

twenTEEN'th Birthday

I can figure out myself and letting the world know how irregular I'm at this. My birthday was on 17th of March and I'm almost two weeks late about posting about it on my blog. The last two posts have been very frustrating mentioning my sad life. But things have been going on prrrretty well after that. One thing is that, my mom's not pecking on me lately and it sure feels like heaven. Not that my mom's a bug(hell no!!), but life's been smooth !

I have this unusual thing on each of my birthdays. I cry ! This time it was my brother from whom I was expecting a call all night and I got it in the morning. I cried when I was speaking with him over the phone. I really missed him a lot that moment.


Anyway, away with the sad stuff. Also, I have this unusual habit of noting down the names of people who wished me on my birthday categorically-calls and messages ! Weird na? It's just been an habit and feels nice at the end of the day just by looking at the list reminding me about the number of people who still haven't forgotten me ! 'm sure everybody(especially girls) feel elated when we get a call on our birthday. Girly stuff I guess. It's just the fact that females care about realtionships with others very seriously.



The day was just usual. Went for dinner with parents and two of my cousins. Well, I was kind of thinking that none of my friends from school had called me. KK had called me at 22:30 and Ashwin had sent a msg in the evening. Shivangi(Shivu), Jayni( J Shah), Aishwarya(Aishu), Shiva,, , , none had called. I was feeling bad that theyhad forgotten my b'day.


Vijay(Vj) and Shivu called me two days later. Shivu felt really bad, but she's a sweetheart. she would never lie. I just love her attitude. Others haven't wished me till date. On Sunday, which was 30th of March around 19:00 , Shivu was asking me what I was upto. She asked me whether I was home. I said 'yes' and there wasn't a reply. I must say that I was kind of doubting that they were going to surprise me. So, I cleaned my room and stuff.


I hear the doors of the car close. I shout out 'Shivu?', 'Vj?' . They don't reply. I run downstairs and they have a cake lighted by a single candle kept on the boot of the car. KK and Vj hurry me up and they sing to me on the road. I was surprised. This was the first surprise birthday I've ever got. I felt really nice. Shivu had brought Kiki and Gio(Shivu's adorable poms). Kiki's a black and white pom and Gio is the 4-month old son. Oh god, Gio is just adorable. I would love to have him. I'm sure Shivu would give him to me if I ask which would be totally stopped by the dog and cat hater-Meri Ma.


The thing with my Ma is that, she literally doesn't hate dogs but she thinks it's a real pain to have them being taken care of. She wouldn't trust me one bit because she always says 'You would take care of it for 2 days, the third day I'll be the one running behind it'.


Except that I'm twenteen, I'm really happy.

When can I be myself ?

I've been having quite a depressing week since She left. One other reason was that my parents aren't really happy with my bahaviour. I do accept that I get angry but that doesn't mean that I'm always like that. It's been really hitting me hard and it's getting me depressed.

I've been hearing quite a few things that i really didn't want to anytime in my life. My mom had mentioned one time that she wished she had only a son. She thinks that I don't respect her at all but how the fuck do I explain it to her that I love her more than anything else in this world and I would love her till my last breath no matter of what she tells me. Sometimes, I wish that I wasn't her daughter, maybe she deserved a better daughter. She has a wonderful son and a question that haunts me more "Am I her's?" I never really want a reply for that.

My parents are a God's gift for me. I cannot ask for more but there are certain things that's really bothering me. They think I was the cause for everything and it really hurts me when my mom mentions it everytime we have a row with each other. She expects me not to cry. Am I suppposed to be an emotionless bitch?

They have an eye on every little expression I show. I was watching some thrilling scene on tv and my mom walks in and tells me to change my facial expression. She thinks I was straining my face. Am I supposed to have a smile when i watch a horror scene? It really annoyed me and there created a big scene. I was talking very politely explaining to her that I was watching a thriller scene keenly and I had my face narrowed. She wouldn't understand at all. She started raising her voice when my dad walked in making it a crime scene. They think I'm always stern faced when it comes to them and that I act different to my friends. How would I explain to them ? My mom always raises her voice and exaggerates the scene to my dad. I really hate it. She makes it look I grabbed her throat.

How the hell do I make them understand? I may not show to them on their face that I love them, but they got to understand. I'm trying my best to please them and make them happy. I've given up on so many things for them for they think it's not appropriate for they care what the society thinks. They didn't want me to dance or play cricket. I gave up. They tell me that isn't the age to do all that. I want to release my energy by sweating out on the treadmill while my dad wants me to do yoga because it's more feminine.

They treat me like I have a born nervous disorder. They think I'm weak. I bet I'm more fit than many girls my age. I have the stamina. When they keep telling me that my skin will get affected or my body won't suit, I'm losing my confidence in myself. To hell with the God who created me.

I've decided to just stay in my room, cling onto my books, pc and music rather than trying to please them and getting yelled at. They think my friends are responsible for me acting like this. They want me to cut their relationship. Where will I go ? I have only a few friends and they want me to cut on them too.

What do they expect, lead a solitary life? To smile when I watch a horror movie? To spend the rest of my life pleasing everybody around me? To care what people think? When will I can be myself?

I have no second thought that all they are trying to do is make a better person out of me but it really haunts me the way they do it. They want to point out every mistake I do so that I won't repeat it. All I'm asking for is some time and space for me to change and evolve on my own. Will i get it? Do I deserve it?

I really wished Shriram was there. Sometimes, I want to call and cry to him because he's one person who can understand me and tell me things but hell no ! I'm scared. What if he also tells me the same thing? I swear I won't live for another day.

I got agitated when my mom told me that i need a psychiatrist but thinking for myself, i think i do need one. I really can't stand it. I'm scared, very scared. I don't want a psychiatrist. I want to be normal and accepted for who I'm.

I want to be me ! Just me and nobody else.
I'm not that bad as you think I'm Ma. I love you. I don't know how else i can put it.
Please try to understand me.
I want to wake up tomorrow and cry away that all this is just a dream.
I love you both. Pls understand. I don't want to hear once more that you wish i wasn't there, I swear I won't be there after that. If that is how you'll understand my love for you, I'll do it.

SHE's gone......for ever !

Gone are the days when I captured the shots of speakable expressions, gone are the days when I played music for my friends who wanted to hear a song just another time before the class started, gone are the days when I would look at someone smiling at me just reassuring me that everything is going to be alright and I will fix it. Yes, She's gone ! My beautiful N73 mobile.

While tears roll down my cheeks, I would narrate the story of her kidnap. She lay close to my heart for Shriram had bought it for me as a birthday present........5 months after my birthday. It was a beautiful day and I had awaited that evening. I named her She. She was of very sentimental value to me and i felt like Shriram was just lying in my hands and I can hold onto him forever until that hope was shattered like a crystal vase on the 28th of this month. After my practice at the college grounds for the cricket match for which my parents were really against, I had found that She was STOLEN by some ^%&*#@!*. I hated my college for allowing people to do stuff like that, not that they could do anything much, while I had lost Her.

I was yelled(because my friends could hear) by my mother on the phone. I have tried every way possible to get Her back, but realised that unless that %&*#&(#@ does not change his mind, there's no way She's coming back to me. I've lost Her for ever. I feel totally responsible for it. This is my last try thinking that the $%^&$& who stole Her would by some how mysteriously come across my blog and read it.

This is to the $#%!$#&^* who stole Her:
SHE WILL NOT STAY WITH YOU. SHE'S EITHER MINE OR NOBODY'S !! THOU SHALL PUNISH FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE.

While I did try out one other possible way of putting in the Almighty's hands for i had a dealing with Him that I would climb the 3000 fleet of steps to see him within a year if He helps in getting my mobile back. My dad was more angry than me for he told me to go to the Kali temple and curse the *(@#$~@# who stole Her. Somehow(surprisingly), I couldn't do that and I prayed that nobody should fall into my situation. I was ashamed to tell people that She was stolen. She was my responsibilty and I was to take care of Her. I still haven't given up.

Now, all I can wish for is HOPE !!!
I want to climb the 3000 steps.

Where Do I Go When The Results Are Out ??

I know it's been a real long time since i wrote something here. I've been waiting and waiting and ........., and i'm still continuing to wait for my brother to update the goddam pictures. It's almost a month since i arrived India and my brother is lazing around. Alot of things have happened durin this month's interval.

Well, to begin with my exam results were out on a day i was out with my friends(yet again). I'm never home when my results come. Once I was out at lunch happily expanding my pizza slice to a height until the cheese's elasticity couldn't withstand anymore, next was when i was at my aunt's place checkin out on my orkut account since my pc was attacked by some dumbass virus that wouldn't let me even type 'orkut' in the address bar when it closes the window and yells out a window with a sound file 'muhaha'. Annoying little thing.

Another time was when I was at the gym sweating away to glory on the rowing machine. Somehow, I like the feeling when the salty drop runs down my cheek and falls down. It gives me a sense of achievement. When my 4th semester results were out, I was standing in the theatre waiting for my friends to watch Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix. My friends still imitate my reaction when i heard that i cleared all the subjects.

This time, my CAT classes were cancelled because of Republic Day. Myself and Vj(Vijay) didn't feel like heading home, so we buzzed all our friends and met up for coffee. I was feaking out when i received a text message saying that the results were out. KK(Adithya KrishnaKumar), Vj and Shiva looked so relaxed. I was jumping around making a number of calls, just wanting to hear my results. But somehow, i was relaxed than during the other times. I knew i had done well but still it's bloody 'ANNA UNIVERSITY' results we are talking about here.

Finally Ashwin delivers the GOLDEN WORDS to me,......., 'ALL CLEAR'. Bliss......

I will put up some new posts very soon...

The Week's Story

I try to catch up with what happens each day and as you see, i don't. I don't exactly what happened during the week in an order, so i'm just going to put it in a more or like a mess.

On some weekday, Ma, Shriram and myself went to Palo Alto downtown. It's a small town, 10 miles from Santa Clara. The single street was the main place where everything happened. Pet shops(saw some of the cutest turtles there), restaurants, ice cream parlors, petite art galleries, hi-fi boutiques and grocery stores, all along one street. The street was decked up with lights and x-mas trees. We went to an indo-asian restautant,... mmm. yummy food and dived ourselves into the ice cream parlor. We thought we were the only people to have ice cream with the temperature about 8 degrees outsie. Soon, people crowded the the little shop. It was Gelato ice cream, it was different.

I'm really getting bugged writing this, but let me finish what i started.

We went shoppping for a winter coat for me and couldn't find anything my size. everything was huge. I found one really nice one in some hi-fi store in Great Mall and it was just like what i wanted. Long, reached just below my kne, black, perfect collar and the tie-up around the waist, but guess what, it wasn't my size either. Duh, i only need an S. Shriram bought something called pretzels. they were just sweetened dough shaped like long stems with flavored sugar. I actually liked it.

I still haven't found THE COAT.

Oh my god, i'm watching this show called 'The Real Housewives' and this lady wants a pink motorcycle just to match her goddam pink skulled bandana. some people are just soooo crazy.

Anyway, back to where i left.

I was waiting for the weekend for we were leaving to San Francisco. We left home aound 10 a.m. We headed straight to the one place san francisco is known for, The Golden Gate Bridge. We took a walk on the world famous bridge. People are so health concious here that i saw so many people running and cycling around in the cold and i saw an insane guy rowing in the bay alone.

After that, we headed to this town called Sausalito. It was an english-styled toy kind of town. It had small shops alond the shore. We visited this humor gallery called 'The art that makes you laugh'. thiss gallery had paintings that had one-liners below that makes you laugh. the website is http://www.leedyart.com/.

This is how the houses are decked up overlooking the shore of the bay. Most of these are retirement houses.

It looks so beautiful during spring with pink flowers between the roads. I'll try getting the pictures.

I wanted to go to this place called 'The Stinking Rose Cafe' about which i had read in the newspaper back home for lunch. It was on this list on one of this must-visit places in SFO. This place has evrything made of garlic. We ordered pasta and then came the tiramashu. There was this lady walking down the street and she paused, gawked and said 'That looks nice'. Really, it tasted awesome. Whipped cream, the tiramasu(which was like cake) with some kind of alcohol in between.

The garlic garland goes all around the cafe !

After lunch, we went to Pier 39. It was an entertainment spot near the bay and there was a ferry tour for an hour. They took around The Alcatraz(a prison in the middle of the bay). It was abandoned in the '70's and the indians were the last ones to leave the island UNWILLINGLY.

At Pier 39.

One of the most beautiful christmas trees I've ever seen.

ALCATRAZ

We reached home around 7.00. We planned to visit this temple which was a 45 minute drive the next day. It was a simple temple which housed all the deities you ever know. We could find a whole load of indians there.

We went for lunch to this south indian restaurant called 'Tirupathi Bheema's'. Had a decent meal. We then caught up with ajith's new movie 'Billa' in this theatre which releases only indian movies. It was a decent movie and gosh the clothes were super sexy. I liked the new Ajith look.
i think he looked smart inspite of the little bulging tummy he had.

At last, i've covered the week's post. Will be back soon.

The Big Sur Drive

Shriram(my brother) had this plan of driving to a place 3 hours from Santa Clara to a castle. It's a drive along the Pacific Bay for 95 miles and it's supposed to be the one of the best drives in the USA. It was in fact. It would've been even more perfect if i was behind the wheels.

The journey started around 7.30 on a supposedly clear satuday morning. After Shriram having his caffeine shot of the day, we hit the highways. The highways had 4 lanes, the rightmost being the slow lane and the leftmost being the fastest. Whatever lane you are in, you got to maintain the speed limit which was a decent 65 for us.

There's nothing much to see in these highways and expressways than an ocasionally chain of retail stores. It was cloudy and the air smelled of GARLIC. There's a huge area of garllic cultivation somewhere along the highway and their smell was so strong.

The journey became the most spectacular when it started on Highway 1 which runs for 350 miles along the Pacific Bay upto Los Angeles. The sun popped himself out and the skies were clear. The weather prediction in Santa Clara proved to be right...... 90 miles away ! lol.


The first view of the coastline from highway 1


We stopped the car here and there to click some pictures and i turned stone cold in the very short time. My teeth would clatter rather than to give out a nice smile for the picture.

The sunlight was filtering through the clouds and the ocean was dazzling. The tides were high and there are no proper beaches along this drive. There were a lot of small and inviting inns and restaurants and some warm art galleries. There were small exits on our right which led to private houses by the bay. These were people who could catch a glimpse or rather the entire view of the bay EVERYDAY. The highway had neat curves and anybody would love to drive. There were some bikers trailing around against the wind and i went 'Are they crazy?' . lol. ;)

We finally reached our destination, THE HEARST CASTLE. We took the 12:00 tour after grabbing a quick snack. There was a bus arranged for the visitors from the summit upto the hill where the castle sat. A 4 mile journey and the bus played an audio recording explaining about the place.

I have to mention this. What could be more uncomfortable than sitting behind a couple who were acting so lovey-dovey. The worst scenario: Your mother is sitting beside you !!! I'm sure my mom went aghast. lol. ;)

The castle was tooooooooooooo good. All that glitters is not gold but al the yellow you see in the pictures were pure 22 carat GOLD. The castle was designed by a lady who was the first lady architect to be certified by the CA state.
It just wasn't a castle, it was a ranch. It was owned by Sir William Hearst. The ranch is spread around 250,000 miles and the best part is that it was called A MINI RANCH. What the hell was the guy thinking ??? His father discovered some silver mine and Hearst inherited all of it. He added his contribution to this wealth. He handled over 90 businesses.

The castle sat atop a hill and the water was provided by 3 natural springs. The castle was a melange of meditteranean cultures which includes the roman styled outdoor swimming pool, the spanish main house, the egyptian stone statues and collections from around the world. The castle had a view of a PART of the ranch and a spectcular 30-40 miles view of the coastline.

The Roman styled outdoor swimming pool.

This lady sure has to be credited for you know why...

The main hall
The Dining




This is the indoor swimming pool. All that is yellow to your eyes are gold. The ceiling, flooring, the floor of the pool and the walls, all gold. The staff of the castle get a 2 hour swimming in the pool at the end of summer. Lucky them !











Hearst had a private ZOO nestling animals like lions, polar bears, wild dogs, reindeer and cattle.
All the wild animals were donated to the SFO, San Diego and LA zoos. The cattle and zebra still graze in the ranch.

Hearst had a lot of guests invited to this castle. Some of them were Charlie Chaplin, Sir Winston Churchill and a lot of blondes and brunettes from the film industry.



The castle is now preserved and maintained as a heritage site by the CA state. The wealth of Hearst is maintained by the Hearst Corporation.

We drove back along the sae highway. We stopped to watch the sea lions which were basking in the sun and snoring away to glory. They were sleeping giants !!

I was getting travel sick and slept through most of the journey back home. Shriram, Andy(Shriram's friend) and myself caught up with a movie(The Golden Compass). It was kind of boring. Maybe i would've found it more interesting if i had read the book.

That's the end of my journey on 8.12.2007.

My Maiden Voyage

After much thinking i've finally created a blog for me. I've been havin this thought of creating one for almost a year and here i'm. i don't know whether i'll ver catch up with it because i get bored with anything after sometime but if life goes as it is today, i'm sure to come back.

I must mention about two people who are responsible for driving me towards creating this blog. They didn't technically force me into this but it were their blogs.

Shiva: One of my best friends back from school. We hardly knew each other back in school but soon grew out to know each other since a year(thanks to some very awkward situations) for which Shiva is solely responsible to.

Chinmayi: She's a very famous....umm... person. I was thinking it to a singer for which she's very famous than most other professions she handles. She's a classical dancer, vj, translator and a very active blogger.

Theirs are the only two blogs i've ever read. I read a year of Chinmayi's life in 3 hours. Do not mistake me for a voracious reader. ;) There's truth(in shiva's) and messages conveyed(in Chinmayi's). Though i may not turn revolutionary and go protesting through the streets shouting slogans, i can still try making a difference.

I do have a personal benefit out of this. I may improve my writing standards. Who knows, you may end up waiting for long hours in a stinking crowd craning your neck just to get a glance of me or even worse watch the movie made out of my blog which maybe nominated for an oscar. lol . :)

Sometimes i would wonder that reading somebody's blog is almost like you are watching their life in close scrutiny. It's invading their privacy to shorten it but duh, why else would they post it them in public ???

I think i've mentioned enough for my maiden blog. i'l come back for more.
take care !!